When the researcher looks at her disarray and looks back into the mirror for verification, organization, and closets she stuffed her real good arguments in:

 
I went out(side) to get some strong data with the objective to learn what emotions sound like in public space and what they do to it, to us when they sound. I prepared for it in a quite turbulent time in my life; a lot of bad luck, and a lot of sheer luck happened – I went to the movies to get over it; what I had blindly trusted pulled me down, wasted my time, and blamed me for the wreck, leaving me with loose leaves, and a lot to analyse; what/who pulled me down turned out to be a total joke; and, every weekend since then I’ve been turning to the mirror and searching myself, searching for temperance: are you a joke as well? Is this a wreck? Is this a waste of her time, their time, your time? I actually wasted my own time trying to bear the blame, not working on myself, but working on a fake, bad copy. I trusted I usually lacked 1/5 of the entire focus I was endowed with. I could do it, but I overworked and lost the temper. The argument hides in temperance. Some weekends, I searched my memory but could not remember the last time I did put in all the effort and it worked magic. Wasted my trust on what is hostile to magic – hostile, not critical. I thought I could replace it with data. But the site has been a nervous, weak and fearful place in the background, with a lot of nonsense, people’s negative moods, pride and pretense sucking good vibes and confusing me more. I could not afford wasting time, but I wasted. I have been ranting this whole time; ranting here, ranting when out with friends, ranting with my academic shoes on; ranting with my academic shoes off; I am ranting, I have been holding the good stuff back, the 1/5. Can’t do this to the project and parties involved in it anymore. Can’t hold back. This is a structural moment that calls for tempering and intervention to make sense of a very post-structural site. Rich data shines when tempered.
 
So I go in(side) to get my arguments back in order to do justice to 4/5 too. I’ve got data, I’ve got method and the bow, I’ve got time and arrows, and having a good advisor rocks. Really does connect.
Reklamlar

Kimin hikayesi?

Küçük burjuvanın hayatını anlatan, onun zaaflarını, onun adiliklerini dünyanın en büyük kahramanlıkları, en asil heyecanları gibi gösteren hikayelerden illallah dedik artık. Bütün ıstıraplar aşktan doğuyor. Oysaki öte yandan milyonların, milyarların ıstırabı var. Ama ne yazık ki biz o insanı tanımıyoruz. Girmişiz küçük burjuvanın içine, yuvarlanıp gidiyoruz. Başka cemiyetlerin, başka sınıfların adamı olduğumuzu bile bile. Bizim dertlerimiz, içinde yaşadığımız adamların dertlerine benzemiyor. Ne parada gözümüz var, ne pulda. Geçenlerde bir kadın, “Benim için şiir,” diyordu, “beyaz bir otomobildir.” Biz, en küçük menfaatlerini bile korumaktan âciz zavallılar, nasıl onlarla bir oluruz. Biz, tanımadığımız o büyük sınıfın, o fakir sınıfın adamıyız. Ama tanımadığımız için de onlardan, onların hayatından bahsedemeyiz. Üstelik tehlikeli bir iş o. İnsana sol diyorlar, komünist diyorlar. İyisi mi, bir yazar hep suya sabuna dokunmayan yazılar yazmalı. Ben de öyle yapacağım

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Baharın ettikleri, Orhan Veli.1948.